Today I would like to bring a matter that means a lot to me: ANXIETY!
I was searching online for the meaning of Anxiety and this is what came up on GOOGLE:
Anxiety is not Depression. It could lead to Depression if the person allows it. Not getting the right help for the Anxiety can of course lead to that. I believe I suffered from Depression already, if not I was almost there.
So, as you guys can see above, Anxiety is a constant worry or nervousness about something. Most of the times can even be just get out off bed, something that a “normal” person without this condition would do without even thinking.
I have always suffered from this disorder as far as I remember. Sometimes I wake up in the morning and I just don’t feel like I want to live anymore – and this doesn’t mean I want to kill myself, it just means I wish I could disappear for a while and not talk to anyone. It means I feel that there’s nothing in my life worth getting of bed for. Don’t take me wrong, I love my family and my friends, I know they are worth it but every time I have these sorts of “anxiety attacks”, I feel that there’s nothing in my life beyond that. I feel that I am a waste of time, I shouldn’t be taking other people’s time with my “problems” which are not problems at all! If we look to some people that don’t have anything, don’t even bread to eat, that is a real problem.
When I look to myself, I feel disappointed with what I became over the years. A person with self-pity, always feeling sorry for herself, waking up in the morning with my heart beating so fast that I’m afraid of having a heart attack. This shouldn’t be a way of living.
The big problem is that this won’t go away that easily. Mornings are a nightmare for me, it is the time of the day when I feel more uncomfortable and weaker to do things.
I have searched help everywhere, I have tried psychologists, searching online what to do to help myself and I couldn’t find anyone to make this go away. I just haven’t tried medication yet because I didn’t want to start taking drugs to feel better. I know that for some people this may work, but for me I believe it wouldn’t cure me, it would just make this go away for a few hours but then it would come back, which makes me believe I would get addicted to that medication and I wouldn’t deal with the real problem.
There are days when I feel slightly better and I think to myself “Okay, maybe this time I won’t fall for Anxiety again” but I do it, all over again.
I’ve decided to write this post because this morning I woke up feeling anxious again, feeling that I didn’t want to get out of bed and I’m sure I am not the only one feeling this. I can’t be the only one suffering from Anxiety because, according to WHO (World Health Organisation), it affects 1 person in 13 people, globally speaking.
Hope with this post we can help each other finding ways to fight this. Let me know if you feel the same way.
Thank you for reading!