Why am I not happy?

Melbourne was considered the most liveable city in the world for 7 years in a row by the Economist .

I live in the best city in the world and yet I’m not happy with my life. Why?

I would say that, first, I am not a happy person. Even when I start to feel happy, I find reasons to suffer. Mostly because I’m always worried about the things that might go wrong and then I just get too focused on that instead of focusing in being happy.

I’m such an anxious person that I stress about every single bit of my life. I’m afraid of being fooled by someone or getting hurt again. But let’s face the truth, hurting and getting hurt is part of life. If you don’t give yourself a chance you will never really live because you’re too scared.

When you love someone, there is always a chance of getting hurt. Just because the person didn’t do what you expected at that moment, it doesn’t mean the person is bad. Is it fair on the person you are in love with? I don’t think so. Is it fair on you? No. You are hurting yourself and others for no reason, and so am I, every day.

I’ve started reading a book that my friends gave me (thank you so much guys!), and I’m very happy with what I’m getting from it. So… I would advise you, that suffer from anxiety as me to read it! The name of the book is “The Anxiety Journal” by Corinne Sweet. It’s a very easy read and has helped me so much, I can’t even explain. I will leave here a photo of the book so you can have a look at it:

It says in the book “When you go away on holidays and think you are ‘getting away from it all’, it is, in fact, still you who is going on holiday. Wherever you go, There you are is the wonderful title of Jon Kabat-Zinn’s book on mindfulness. So, we might think we can escape ourselves, but our mindsets go with us, wherever we go, and bog us down, if we let them.”

The lesson I take from it is, no matter where I live, no matter what I do, as long as I let my mind win with bad thoughts I will never be happy, even if I live in the best city in the world with the person I love. In order to be happy I need to let this bad thoughts leave my head. In this book we also find help to get rid of this mindset and move on to something better. Instead of thinking “I’m not good enough for this person” or “I’m not good enough for this job”, we need to start thinking, NO! I am good enough for whatever I want to be. We are our own enemies. I am my own enemy because I stop doing things I love because I’m too worried that I am not good enough. But I’m trying to change my mindset and start to believe in myself.

Yes, I am in a different country, so far away from my family and close friends, but I can say that I could be happy here if I let my bad thoughts go away and start to believe that I can do whatever I set my mind to.

I want to be happy, no matter how hard life can be. What about you? Do you want to be happy or do you want to let your mind get the control of you?

I think this is a good question because I’m sure there are more people suffering from the same as I do. And WE are all together in this. Don’t feel that you need to hide it from others because, if they don’t understand you it’s okay as long as you start understanding yourself.

Thank you for reading one more of my “thoughts” because I love to write them down and maybe, just maybe, it can help someone who is passing through the same nightmare as me.

Have a great day and love yourself! You deserve it! ❤

~ Marci

3 thoughts on “Why am I not happy?

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